Fighting Shame, Finding Discernment
Shame is heavy.
It lingers long after the fad diet, the detox tea, or the supplement subscription runs out.
I see it in women who have tried everything to lose weight, balance hormones, or heal their gut. They feel like they’ve failed and their body is broken.
But shame isn’t the truth. Discernment is.
What Is Discernment?
Discernment means healthy judgment, the ability to look back at your choices with honesty and compassion, not blame. It’s not about “I was wrong,” but “Here’s what I learned, and here’s what I’ll do differently.” In my own journey of healing, I’ve experienced a lot of shame around food, alcohol and even relationships. I’ve realized that as I learn and grow into the woman I want to be, there is actually more thoughts of shame that can come up. For example, thinking “Why didn’t I do this sooner” or “I can’t believe how much harm I caused my body in the past” have come up for me many times. In my clients, I see many similar thoughts as I empower them with new perspectives and information diet culture hid from them.
Where Shame Shows Up in Health Journeys
Here are some of the most common traps I see women fall into, not because they’re lazy or undisciplined, but because our culture markets them hard:
Low-Calorie Meal Plans – Often shakes or “6 meals a day” that suppress metabolism if done long term.
Keto Without an Exit Plan – Especially hard to maintain without proper reintroduction of carbs, hormone support and social support (because I don’t know too many friend groups who all eat keto together).
Supplements as a Shortcut – Without lifestyle shifts, the body keeps returning to the same stress patterns.
Quitting Too Soon – Some changes, like going gluten-free, need months to show results, not weeks.
Why You’re Not Broken
If your body isn’t where you want it to be, it’s not a personal flaw. Our modern world is stressful. Many of us inherit nutritional deficiencies, toxic beliefs, and even trauma from the day we are born. It’s unavoidable, but that doesn’t mean detoxing and healing isn’t possible.
The Way Forward
Discernment lets you break the cycle. Instead of “I failed,” you can say:
“This wasn’t sustainable for me.”
“I learned I need more muscle-supportive nutrition.”
“My healing will take time, and that’s okay.”
If you’re ready to trade shame for discernment, start with self-compassion and finding support from someone who will see you beyond your symptoms.
If you’re ready to break free from shame and actually understand what your body needs, let’s chat. Join the StrongHer Community for just $19.99/month to get started, or book a discovery call to learn more about my coaching programs.
